Once again I have been missing from the blogosphere for far longer than anticipated. An amalgamation of carrying out dissertation research, packing up to go home for the summer and generally stressing about what I want to do when I graduate next year has taken its toll. As much as I love being at university, I am well and truly ready to go home and recharge.
When you first come to university, you’re so overwhelmed by the prospect of the following three years that often you don’t think about what you’re going to do with your life when this rollercoaster of emotions is all over. For me, the first two years of my life at university have been challenging on a personal level, with there being a lot of hurdles that I have had to overcome – whether that be mental health issues or relationship problems, amongst others. It’s safe to say that I feel more independent and secure within myself than I’ve ever been. Before university I hadn’t really experienced ‘life’, leading me to make a number of mistakes when I first came here. Although many people would love to take back their mistakes, I’m glad I’ve made them, because they’ve taught me more about myself – I guess if there’s something you don’t like, work toward changing it day by day.
Gradually, I’m becoming more like the old me, and to be honest I liked that girl. For the past two years I haven’t really been able to recognise myself, but thankfully I feel as though my life is getting back on track just when it matters most. Unfortunately, that may mean my academic performance has slipped drastically below what I would expect of myself, but hopefully I will have a chance in the coming year to bring it back. Now I feel more like myself, I can finally focus my energy on my aspiring career of becoming a marine biologist and scientific communicator.
It always seems to me, that through everything in life you gain a lesson. That’s how I see the past two years of my life – a number of mistakes, gifted with lessons that I can use to make my future life better than it is right now. Everything is temporary. It may be temporary for five minutes, a couple of months, or a few years, but eventually it will be over – try and remember that next time you make a mistake. Your mental health and sense of wellbeing aren’t worth sacrificing over something that you can’t change.
When you’re a teenager and your parents whittle on about ‘being true to yourself’ along with other cringy sayings, you don’t think they know what they’re talking about. Funny thing is, with hindsight, most of the advice my parents told me was true, I just wish I wasn’t too stubborn to listen. Anyway, enough of the philosophical version of myself for now. In just under three weeks time, I will be learning how to dive off the coast of Sal, Cape Verde – which just so happens to be the only thing getting me through waiting for my equipment to calibrate. As for now, the blog should return to it’s normal schedule from July 7th! But for the moment, I’m stuck in the lab measuring barley plants.